The Ultimate Guide To Taking It Up The Highway

I saw a headline recently that made me squeal with delight: Rectal Marijuana Is More Effective Than Smoking Joints: Doctor.

Seriously this is the best thing! This actually cheered me up. Just reading about rectal weed healed me of all my woes today. You know what this means right? I can tell burnout stoners to "shove it up their ass" and I'm actually giving medical advice. I'm helping them to heal their "restless elbow" or "texter's thumb ache." This brings new meaning to "giving someone the finger" and the instructions are so simple. Anyone can do it!

I can ask cannabis users if they have butt chafe from too much bud and have that be a legitimate question. Instead of my affectionate nickname, Ganjapreneurs, I can reasonably change that to Gapepreneurs with no objection.

I imagine a bunch of millennials sitting around in their "smoke circle" but now having to call it what it is: a "fisting wheel." It makes sense that the generation that is most into anal would rally around each other for some sort of spliff scrimmage in their ass. From the gang that brought butt chugging into the vernacular, this "Assijuana" thing seems like a natural progression of rectal entertainment.

Picture if you will, a bunch of 20 somethings sitting around, listening to EDM, making stupid 'starter pack' memes on their iPads, who decide they need to chill. Happens all the time. Next thing you know they stick their ass in the air and party in each other's poop dispensaries.

Oh yeah, I'm all down for this!!